fact.

Fact- I'm still really happy.
My operation went really well although they said it was worse than they had expected, so they done what they had to do to my poor little knee, strapped me up and sent me home the next day on crutches. Hospital's really annoy me, it's like when you call people about stuff like, I don't know, oh prime example, when my contract fucked up, I had to phone this company who were like 'an operator will be with you shortly, and shortly and shortly, 4 hours later. Their just lying, an operator is sat having his fucking lunch. Anyway back to hospital's their like that- be at hospital by 7 in the morning and a surgeon 'will be with you shortly' no he won't because after telling me that ALLL day, I didn't get a bed till 4, then 20 minutes later I was knocked out with my knee cut open. And my mum say's I'm un-organised. So, I'm home again now anyway.
Had my last day of school on friday, it was so weird I don't think it has even sunk in yet, but it kinda hit me today because I've got some of my friends money from when we went out for a meal last night and I was like 'oh yeah I'll give it to you at school on monday' and she was like- Charlie, we don't actually go to school anymore. And I was like daaaaym. No we don't!
Ahaa, I watched a pretty funny film today 'Sex Drive' It just made me ell oh ell. It's funny, I hope that one day the film makers of the world will make a film even slightly realistic, It's like the day after tomorrow, yeah it's nice to think that the boy survives and goes on to meet his dad and everyone lives happily ever after, and I have to admit to being a sucker for happy endings buuuuut, it's not going to happen in real life. I mean yeah, I'd love to believe that everything is going to be easy and perfect, but the truth is, It's not, it's not even easy and perfect now. And things are only just starting, I'm already fed up of 'relationships' and I'm not even in one, everything is so hard, you have to always say the right thing to one another and get shy and all that shit. But by not being in a relationship, you don't, you can say whatever you want, whenever you want, and you can annoy the shit out of another person without worrying about them breaking it off with you- although the punishment of not texting back is enough for me- my point is, maybe 'someone wise' is right (I say 'someone wise' because it always seems to be someone wise once told me, and someone did tell me this :/ ) maybe, some things are better if you keep them to yourself. Although for me, It's too late, but this time, it didn't totally ruin things. Bonus.
I'm going to stay at my dad's tonight, and I'm feeling pretty apprehensive about it, you see, my dad is the kind of person that thinks he's really 'cool' he's not overly protective but he does do some pretty stupid things with me, he's never been there for me, because him and my mum split when I was only like 2 weeks old. He's done some really stupid things in his life as well, but he's the kind of Dad who thinks I need love brought for me, he thinks everything is about money, when it isn't, all I want is a dad who loves me and who talks to me? Is that too much to ask?
Brighter note, I'm off now to text away and tell my whole life and secrets to my friendling :D
Toodlessssssss xxxx

the waiting game..

I'm hospital now, luckily mum remembered the laptop and dongle so im on the internet :)
I've been told I've got to have a needle in my hand...
instead of being gassed out like a jew.
it's boring just sat here waiting.
I haven't been able to eat since last night, and i'm not even allowed to drink WATER!
I've got such a bad headache aswell (N)
Oh well, I'm just going to continue sitting here and complaining :L
Hope that they'll send me down soon though. want to get it over and done with if i'm honest.
:D
toodles for now.
I'll probably blog again in a bit just cause I'm bored.
be prepared for charlie chatting shit.
even though that's all it normally is anyway.
see i'm doing it now.
inabitt :D xx

well..

I went to megans party saturday.
got a tad drunk.
went out for a bit.
saw some people.
had an argument.
cried.
laughed.
and shouted.
had a good night.
went to bournemouth sunday got REALLY burnt, way worse than Aiden aswell may i add.
went home.
thats aboooooout it really.
imma make this really short and to the point.
im SUPER happy at the moment.
someone is in my life that i can rely on to make me smile EVERYDAY.
i'm having an operation tomorrow, i'm scared.
anyway i'm being shipped off to my mums sooooo...
au revoir. xx

crazy shitty.... FRANK?!?

9 day's
wow. 11 years has gone pretty rapid if i may say so.
people always used to tell me that it will go soo fast Charlie, before you now it you'll be a week away from leaving and you'll think where did the time go?
it just makes me think, time is going pretty rapid isn't it?
I'm so grateful for the people that have been there for me,
because today i had such a shite day it was unbelieveable i could have actually killed like 3 people today.
this is gunna sound either really soppy or really shitty actually.
but i feel like people take certain things for granted, like one of my mates, i've been there for her through EVERYTHING i'm not even joking, shes been through a lot really, her mum died and i was there for her, shes had normal life things, you get me? i've just been hre for her. but she makes some really stupid decisions, ever since about mid way through year 9 beggining of year 10. It started when she started to hang around with a new group of friends. She started to do weird things but we all thought nothing of it, thought shes a teenager shes gunna do silly things, shes having fun. then she starting hanging around with his boy, hes a right prick. even though i've told her a million times exactly what hes like, she doesn't listen, he's a safe bet for her, he'll be there for her to listen, and be nice to her. then shag her. not even joking, he's such a man whore. anyway, she is always making up lies lately, telling him shit about me and my other friend, who has known her also since forever. And he's being a right dickhead to us. and to be fair, i'm not going to sit there and let him think hes right and have a go at us when we're not the one spreading shit about us. (here comes the rant)
so i say to her what the actual fuck, you promised me months ago you were done with him because you realised he was a twat?
and all she could say was- sorry but he has a way of making me go back to him i dont want to, he makes me?
what? what exactly does he say to you? this boy is incapable of being nice!!
and apparently, it's the fact that he pulls her in, he's errmmm what was the word she used- oh shit now i can't remember, you know when someones like, oh intising or something? when they know what to say to you. argh. i dont even want to fucking talk about it. it makes me so angry, friends are suppose to come first. second on my list of things that made today shite was, double ffing history. well it wasn't that bad today she let me sleep and text :) = happy charlie. thats all i do with my life lately, text and sleep. plan.
frank sinatra has completly ruined my life today aswell. :L okay thats a bit extreme but seriously i have no idea why i was listening to him, actually i do. I was watching celine dion live yeaahhhh, and he came on, well obviously not actually him, but a video of him singing.
'when somebody loves you, its no good unless he loves you, all the way.'
what a depressing song this is-
so to be honest it was a x30 fast forward on the good ol' sky plus.
that was totally random me knows.
wow, i just got a word word text ''sorry''
sorry but that word doesn't wash with me anymore, heartless charlie, i know.
just asked someone to marry me too ;)
woweeeee.
let's hope that now i'm home from school my day will get better, i havn't finished telling you, blogger, why my day was so shite cause im not going to dwell on it.
oh bteedubbz if someone in particular is reading this- please don't stop being who you are, because charlie just so happens to like that person a lot. okay?
I know i've completly fucked up things in the past for you, buuuuuut, i hope we're friends for a long time. and don't go away to yorkshire, actually you can because i enjoyed it when you were there that was theeeee best conversation time for us i think. i can always count on you to put a smile on my face with the silly, random, cute and funny things that you say. so don't stop saying them. mmk?
that's all i think,. i can't be arsedto write anymore, cause i'm just cahtting shit as per ;)
C xx

blank canvas.

as i'm not talking to anyone at the moment, my mind is a bit like.. a blank canvas.
I must say that if i'm honest, i have a lot of thing's running around in my mind.
I thought to myself earlier, I ALWAYS without a doubt, ruin things for myself. Like.. for example. damnit! just got a text. ruined my blank canvas. oh well, i'll continue.I ruin thing's, I've always been brought up to say things how i mean them. To express my feeling's in anything. education, love, friendship.. etc. the thing i always ruin i the 'love' part. most of the time, when i like someone, or think i like them. I get so caught up in a particular moment in time, or something i'll just tell them. and it mostly always ruins it. and it's not true what they say- it does ruin friendships. I hate it aswell, because it kind of turns things awkward i think? I'm not sure what it does, but, it changes. I've had a lush day today actually, woke up pretty early this morning but that was a good thing because it meant I got to go and see my Daddy this morning and see my little sister. got some bad news :/ but i'm thinking positive not going to let anyting get me down.
Also, I find a way of getting attached to someone.
It can only be one person.
But it's get's to me, like I don't have to have feelings for this person, but, even as a really good friend i want to talk to this person 24/7. I think i have some rather funny conversation's with this person and then i'll probably go and ruin it! because i fall too easily. but then i find, once i've 'fallen' it takes me a long time ot get over it. and I'm the type of girl that say's 'yeah, we can be friends' because i'm ALWAYS the one getting blown off. I've only recently had to blow someone off. and it made me feel bad for agess. I didn't know how to say no. but i needed to because, i'm not going to lead someone on. I'm just not like that.
I think i'm going to wait in the future for someone to express there feelings to me. No way am i ruining another friendship for ANYTHING!
I'm exited for fun times ahead if i'm honest i'm just hoping to keep myself busy with friends and i want to have that feeling where you laugh uncontrolably.
My ex got back in contact with me the other day,
it was so weird, it was the first time i've spoken to him without feeling anything toward him it was just like 'hi, hi, you ok? yeah good thanks you? yeah im good thanks, errm you still have my top yeah? yeah i do you want it back? naa it's okay you can keep it, okay thanks.'
put the phone down.
went and got his top.
and threw it in the bin.
felt so good like all the shit he put me through was gone.
brighter note, I'm so happy :D
can't even remember what's written at the top of this blog it's probably a load of shite as usual. but. at least someone reads it ;)
byes x

short one?

brought a new CD today- 'weekend songs'
qaulity songs.
they make me smile.
remind me of things.
i love memories.
i love being happy,
and i hope i will now.
I fancy having fun... summer's coming up.
I want someone to spend the summer with.
bye for now :)
xxx

I Miss You...

whoah.
I'ts been a while.
It's like a reunion with an old friend, but not awkward at all.
I can't even remember where we got to before you know, what you've missed out on. And I've not got a lot to say actually.
Lately, I've been just stressed out about exam's and everybody else like my friends are going through a lot at the moment and everyone is like oh 15 days left of school, I can't wait to get out of here. But I was thinking do I really think that college is going to be any less of a stress than school? No I don't, I think it will be just as much of a pain in the ass as school.
I've just thought, while trying to write this blog, text and talk on chat at the same time. That I only ever blog when I'm talking to a certain person...
I had like one of those totally funny conversations last night, and I went into school today and I was totally zoned out in English and everyone was like oh what did you do last night Charlie and I was like- damn, all I done was ate Yoggies and spoke to Aiden, about normal things that just so happen to change themselves to sexual subjects. This is a boy you should NEVER tell that you're naked, or getting changed, or eating yoggies.... some how he manages to get himself caught up. bless.Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah All i done was ate yoggies and spoke to Aiden, they were like ohhh what did you talk about and for some CRAAAZY reason I was just like- being really ignorant. I just put my headphones back in. and ignored them all. I could see them out the corner of my eye holding their hands up at me... I went mental at this girl today as well. She's been giving me shit lately and I'd had enough so i stormed over to her and all my mates came running they were like SHIT! they know what I'm like when I loose my temper and I was angry. It was like all the shit she's ever put me through in like 7 years came out. I was proper shouting at her, she was just staring at me. But it does wind me up more when they don't argue back and I know that's what she want's, she thinks that by ignoring me. It's going drive me crazy. And it did. absolutly redic. I felt a bit embarassed afterwards though because I've never gone mental in class like that before. Then that was it, after that I was in a foul mood. Until I got to drama last period and I was feeling proper tired so I just led on floor texting and listening to music, and Varney came bounding up to me and led next to me and tried to make me laugh, seceded. talking about how laying on his front hurts his boobs and how this girl is watching avatar with him tonight, and yeah okay that doesn't sound funny but if you've ever met this dude. It's funny. Then I was complaining again that the floor was so damn uncomfortable and Varney was like, Charlie, mate have a lay on my back. And I was like quality. HOW COOL WAS THIS! His back was so comfortable. I just led on his back for 45 minutes. It was lush. :L
I was also playing whack a sack in science. Kept getting shouted at for having my phone out today, I'm like the least discrete person when it comes to texting in lesson, so i was practising then at lunch i found myself hiding my phone under the table and I was like. Charlie. wtf? So I got informed of some grades I've got already, two B/A's in BTEC. two B's in science. two A's in Drama, C in maths and A in eng lang and B/A in eng lit. The way my spelling is today thought, I'll be failing ALL english. I'm just chatting a load of shit here. DAMNIT!

OkayI'll think of something good to right as I'll be sat at home on MY OWN all night. yes. I know your reading this you mean moofooo :'(
shmeeb really :L
Laterrrrs <3 xx